Fouled Up:

Admit that you did it. Admit that you made mistakes that cost you this relationship. You have to be able to own up to your mistakes and that means you have to own them. They were your mistakes, not anyone else’s. Admit it. This is the best place to start if you want to know how to win ex girlfriend back.
Objectively Look At Yourself: Take a good long look at who you are and what was it about you that caused this to happen. Were your mistakes a symptom of a bigger problem that you have? If it was, find out what it was. Look for the bigger picture.

Regret What Happened:

There are some who will tell you to regret nothing. That is incredibly bad advice. If you made a mistake that hurt someone, you should feel regret and guilt. You should feel even worse if it was someone that you love.

Evaluate the Situation:

Assess the damage done. One of the things that people have to do when they are trying to rebuild something that was destroyed is to look around and see what just happened. Once the source of the destruction (your mistakes) has been identified it’s time to see what remains. Is there anything worth saving left? Is there enough left that can be built back? Hopefully there is still a foundation left and the damage wasn’t so much that there is nothing left to rebuild. You will have to do this if you want to know how to win ex girlfriend back.

Verify That You Have A Chance:

You may be totally dedicated to trying and put things back together but your ex girlfriend may not be. It is hard to win back your ex if they have no desire to bring the love or the relationship back. If they have decided to move on, there may be nothing you can do about it. That is the reality of the situation, that your actions and mistakes may have consequences that involve you losing your girlfriend forever.

Engage In Dialogue:

If your ex girlfriend is willing to talk about anything at all, let it happen. You may have to endure her venting on you and blasting who you are and letting you know how big the mistakes were that you made. This is no time to get defensive.
Hopefully these were all things that you realized on your own but hearing it may give you more resolve to correct those mistakes.

Respect:

Respect what she says. Respect her feelings. Respect her wishes. Treat her with respect.

It may be tough to do but if you really want to know how to win ex girlfriend back forever, you will have to take your  medicine.

When you have begun to consider your troubled relationship, it is important to brainstorm what sort of things that you want and what you do not want in your relationship. The latter can include not wanting to be cheated on, abused, and ignored and so on. When it comes to items that you want to have happen, these can include wanting to grow and develop emotionally. One can want for excitement and romance in the relationship. Sometimes one wants intellectual and spiritual stimulation, including discussions and attending outside meetings and events.

Once you have a list of your wants and desires, you need to go through them and identify those which you truly want and do not want. You need to figure out what sort of situation you are in and whether or not it will continue on its track. Observe your partner and try and figure out if they are capable of growth and doing their part to help turn your troubled relationship around. They need to be able to contribute to the repair of the relationship and move it forward.

If things are truly bad, then you need to step back and see things with a clear head. This may simply involve separating temporarily, so that you and your partner can take the time alone to evaluate the situation without distraction. Without having to live together and deal with all of the stresses of being together, both of you will have a clearer head which will provide the basis for a true evaluation of the situation.

What you may find is that the relationship is such that you two cannot be together and that you need to end the relationship. Some relationships are not meant to be, and that should not discourage you. There will be someone for you. If you do find that you and your significant other are capable of making things work in your troubled relationship, then make sure that you and your partner are open and communicative. Without communication, it will be more difficult.

A troubled relationship does not necessarily mean that the end is near. What it does mean is that you and your partner need to take the steps to work things out and move the relationship forward, whether that is towards its end or continuation.

Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?

Can this relationship be saved?

Should it be saved?

Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving.  While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work.  Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children.  But that is not enough.  How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.  One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups.  In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.  For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.  While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.  If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts.  This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns.  Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling.  When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.   Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them.  Then, take concrete steps on your action plan.  If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week.  Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.  If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.  And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.  You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back.  There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward.  Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.